Valve drops Year of the Snake-themed Dota 2 treasures for Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone that celebrates, says Dota 2 publisher and developer Valve Corporation, who this morning announced the Charms of the Snake treasure — a lootbox that contains cosmetics in line with the occasion. Valve has put the treasure up on the store for $2.49 a pop, and the treasure itself will feature “serpentine sets” for Earth Spirit, Lich, Medusa, Naga Siren, Necrophos, Shadow Shaman, Snapfire, Razor, and Templar Assassin.

Lich and Necrophos in particular will also have Rare and Very Rare quality sets, respectively. Some of these sets are actually quite nice, with the Templar Assassin one being a personal favorite of mine. And as someone that’s always wanted a pet snake or some other reptile like a bearded dragon, I can certainly appreciate that the designs are relevant to the year of the snake.

Where the heck is the patch, Valve?!

Now, cosmetics are all well and good. They’re kind of what make Dota’s world go round. But I swear to Selemene herself, if I have to go through any more of Patch 7.37, I’m going to go insane. The current game version has now been around for six whole months — longer than any patch should ever stick around.

Yes, Kez’ release in the middle the patch was nice, I’ll admit. I certainly didn’t expect Valve to drop a new hero so soon after Ringmaster, knowing how they like to take their time making practically any new piece of content for Dota 2. And there’s also Crownfall, which got extended until February 6th. But in terms of gameplay, this patch has gotten incredibly stale — and at this rate, I don’t even know if there will ever be another Dota 2 patch ever again.

Naturally, this is just hyperbole, but really it’s felt like 7.37 is going to survive the heat death of the universe. In fact, it’s already on pace to beat the previous record of 188 days, held by Patch 7.32. To put how long it’s been since 7.32 into perspective, the changelog for that patch contains changes for freaking Wraith Pact, an item that hasn’t been in the game since The International 2022.

And with FISSURE Playground Belgrade ongoing, it’s unlikely that we’ll even see 7.38 until after the tournament is done. Heck, I don’t even expect a patch until after Crownfall is done at the earliest. If Valve extends it one more time, I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. Please, Gabe Newell, save the Dota community from going mad.